How Solitude Shapes Our Emotions

Written by Kritika Rao

Artwork by DALL·E

Source: Nguyen, T. T., Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2018). Solitude as an approach to affective self-Regulation. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 44(1), 92-106. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167217733073. 

Solitude, often confused with loneliness, can positively impact emotional well-being. Loneliness stems from unmet social needs, while solitude offers a chance to regulate emotions. In a series of experiments, researchers Nguyen and colleagues explored how solitude influences emotional experiences, and when it yields positive outcomes.

In the first study, participants either sat alone or engaged in casual conversation. Those in solitude felt calmer as their emotional intensity—both positive and negative—decreased, while social interaction left emotions largely unchanged. This suggests solitude helps reduce intense emotional states, offering a calming effect that socializing may not. Imagine those moments in life when we are overwhelmed with strong emotions—sometimes a brief moment of solitude is all it takes to provide relief.

In the second study, participants were either alone in silence or given reading tasks. Regardless of the activity, solitude led to more calm and less intense emotions. The results indicate that the mere act of being alone brings down emotional intensity, helping people feel emotionally balanced whether they were quietly sitting or reading.

The third experiment explored how the thoughts we engage in during solitude can shape our emotions afterward. Participants were split into groups and were offered to think about positive or neutral thoughts. While engaging in neutral thoughts alone may still lead to a calming effect, participants who were encouraged to focus on positive thoughts reported better moods. Solitude, paired with intentional and positive thinking, can thus foster more emotional benefits.

In the final study, rather than bringing participants into the lab, the researchers invited our participants to engage in 15 minutes of solitude in everyday life, free from obligations and responsibilities. They found that time spent alone reduced the emotional intensity experienced on the day the participants practiced solitude. Notably, those who engaged in solitude voluntarily gained more emotional benefits from the exercise. This finding underscores the importance of perceiving solitude as a choice for emotional recovery.

Overall, solitude provides a vital space for rest and emotional recalibration. It helps lower the intensity of both positive and negative emotions, leading to calmness and fostering rest. Importantly, the key to making solitude effective is autonomy—feeling in control of when and how to be alone makes it a powerful tool for managing emotions. These studies reveal that, when embraced, solitude offers a pathway to emotional stability.